PRESS PLAY ><


“i was so inspired by blaze when we got together those four years ago.” “i wrote more, i danced more. life was sweet & everything was transfigured into something beautiful. he awoke in me something i thought had died. he brought me back to life with his pure heart. every time i looked at him, looked into his eyes, i saw something so unbelievably deep that it shook me. & i couldn’t look away because i had to figure out what that ‘something’ was. it drew me to him in the most intense way. & now i know that it was an unimaginable kind of love. it’s hard, even now, for me to comprehend the love that he is capable of. it’s child-like in nature but it has something more to it. there’s a knowingness about it, like it’s been through so much & yet somehow managed to stay pure. & when i’m around this love it consumes me in the most unbelievable way.” “when i’m around him i turn into a child again. & what can anyone ask for in their lover besides that? i want to be eternally curious, playfully experiencing life…& with him i can’t help but do those things. when we are together it feels like we are the only two people in the world. all of life’s tiny little burdens, all the pressure that one feels throughout their day, all that just dissipates. we laugh about everything. i can take my life seriously & work so hard at becoming the person i want to be, & i know that when i come home, no matter what has happened, we are going to find something to laugh about. we are going to sing silly songs to our cats, we are going to dance for each other in the most embarrassing way, we are going to stay up way too late laying around in bed cracking jokes. at this point it’s nearly impossible for me not to be in a constant state of laughing when i’m with him. & i love him for that more than anything. because this is the person i want to die next to. this is the person i want holding me when i take my last breath. someone who has boundless love for me. someone who has shown me what it means to love. Someone who can always make me smile no matter what. “he keeps me grounded when i feel like things are out of control. he is so unbelievably supportive of my dreams & life goals. i feel like he really thinks i can do anything & somehow that makes me believe in myself even more than i already do. i just can’t imagine a world where we aren’t the happiest couple ever. where we aren’t making the most of life & living our dreams. we respect each other so much & love one another so deeply & with that it feels like anything is possible. anything is possible with the love we have. everything is pure. everything is new. everything is beautiful. we are perfect for each other.”

“i remember the first time i realized that i loved you.

i remember driving down that long road home with you, & the way the violet sky lit up behind you.

the way the light from the stars played on the water.

& that sideways smirk you made when you realized that i had been watching you.

 

i remember the first time i said i loved you.

& those endless brown eyes seemed somehow to grow just a little deeper.

the way your voice sounded as you said ‘i love you’ back.

 

& i remember seeing you for the intensely profound & deeply loving person you are.

this ever-caring soul who just wanted to love & be loved. this being who had more to give than he could of ever imagined.

i’ve watched us grow together over these past four years and i am still in awe every day when i see what we have built. i feel like we can take on the world together.

everything is more fun, everything is more funny,

my life is so much more meaningful & worth living with you in it.

 

i never want to be without you.

i want to be a couple of old moldies.

cracking jokes about everything, dancing around while we are cleaning, singing songs about all our cats, & forever making each other laugh so hard our cheeks hurt.

 

you’re the only one for me.

& i am so glad we found each other. “V.

upon the hills i thought his name

up to mind his image crept,

& on the trees was rest his frame

within the brook his being swept.

 

his breeze tossed birds into the sky

they danced & fluttered on his breath,

the sun exposed his hidden eye

that bathed the forest in lustrous depth.

 

was while i stood within his golden sight

my heart began to overflow

with rapturous feelings of such delight

that only his forest and i could know.
VI.

once, you opened

your soft little mouth

& uttered

word after word after beautiful word.

& those words swept through me

like they were made of wind, & i of leaves.

they stirred my little branches

& tossed my flowers

to the floor.
X.

your night is more than i have longed for.

 

pure-of-heart, i am yours alone & only yours.

i’m transfigured in your thoughtful eyes

and feel myself come sudden whole.

 

sweet words that linger on your lips

& move my thirsting soul.

florals: bleedfoot florals

hair: samantha knowles

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PRESS PLAY!

“our life is unexpectedly unconventional. my husband & i first met and become friends in college. it wasn’t until a few years later when i went back to get my master’s that we started dating. our college was a little rodeo town in washington anchored on the outskirts of the cascade mountains. our idea of time well spent was meandering through mountains, passing through ponderosa pine groves, & watching waterfalls.” “shortly after he graduated with a business degree, my future husband decided to join the military. all throughout his basic training, he waited to get a dear john letter. the majority of the girlfriends his buddies had going into the military decided a long-distance relationship with a soldier was just too difficult. i knew what kind of man i had, so i held on.” “halfway through his training, & two years after we started dating, we got married in a justice of the peace ceremony in fayetteville, NC. now before people think that sounds cute & elope-y, it was rather monumentally ghetto. we had to pass through metal detectors, & we took our witnesses (one of whom was dressed in a cutoff teeshirt, basketball shorts, and flip-flops) out for lunch, and they order beer towers. that weekend we stayed at a KOA cabin at myrtle beach where large carpenter ants fell on us all night. a vision of my wedding i had dreamt about as a child it was not.” “we had planned to have a reception back in washington the following summer to celebrate with our family, but uncle sam had other ideas. instead of moving to colorado, we had orders to move to Germany for three years. we put our plans of a reception aside and packed our bags for deutschland. after my husband’s first deployment, we went on an amazing trip to spain and portugal. we dubbed that trip our honeymoon.” “we wanted an outdoor ceremony without all the pomp and circumstance of a traditional affair because my husband and i always found our god in the mountains and not the pews. we decided to have an early morning vow-renewal ceremony at garden of the gods. a little over 30 family members and close friends flew in for the weekend festivities. i found a wonderful man and a direct descended from black elk of the saginaw chippewa indian tribe who would preform a ceremony that incorporated the aspects of native american culture we admired. our ceremony included traditional indian flute music, a sage smudging, a ribbon tying ceremony in lieu of vows, & a hopi prayer. with the garden of the gods as the setting, saying the ceremony was beyond my expectations is a massive understatement.”   “five years after getting married, we found ourselves in colorado (definitely a contender for the best state in the union) living in a log house that bumps up to the end of the rocky mountains. it’s the closest thing to heaven you can buy without being warren buffett. because we were approaching our 5th anniversary, i wanted to have a little vow-renewal ceremony that preceded the party.” “after our morning ceremony, we had the sit-down last Supper style dinner i had always wanted. we ate and drank and danced and played and laughed all night.”  “military members, their spouses, & their families make sacrifices. those sacrifices are memories never made. they’re birthdays missed, holidays missed, months & years of life missed. i have given up birthdays & holidays & memories, but i refused to never make the memory of a wedding. it may have taken us five years, but we now have this quintessential memory of our love story. & it was worth every damn day it took us to get here.”

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